I Was Never the Girl in His Diary Chapter 05
Barrett’s entire body stiffened violently. HeÂ
whipped his head around, his eyes locking ontoÂ
- me.Â
I knew exactly what frantic thoughts were racingÂ
through his brain.Â
And so, under his utterly bewildered stare, I took aÂ
step forward, a serene, calm smile gracing myÂ
face as I spoke to mail carrier:Â
“Valerie. Northbrook University.”Â
The color drained from Barrett’s face instantly,Â
leaving him ghost–white. He stared at me inÂ
absolute disbelief, a storm of chaotic emotions.Â
churning in his eyes.Â
I turned around to head up the stairs, but BarrettÂ
went into a frenzy, chasing after me.Â
His blistering palm clamped down hard on myÂ
forearm, his voice shockingly hoarse and broken:Â
“Valerie, you lied to me. You never committed toÂ
Arlington, did you?!”Â
Arlington’s minimum admission threshold was lower than our scores; if I had submitted myÂ
commitment, it was statistically impossible forÂ
me not to be on the roster.Â
I kept my eyes lowered, slowly but deliberately peeling his fingers off my arm.Â
I offered a soft, quiet affirmation. “Yeah.”Â
“Why…? We had a pact!”Â
He seemed to be completely breaking down, his voice trembling violently with every syllable.Â
“Shouldn’t you be asking yourself that question?”Â
I raised my eyes, my expression filled with genuine.Â
bewilderment.Â
“Barrett, you were the one who didn’t want to go to the same college as me. You told your mother you were choosing Crestview just to get away fromÂ
- me. I simply helped you achieve your wish.”Â
“Now that you’ve gotten exactly what you wanted,Â
you come running to interrogate me? What exactlyÂ
are you trying to extract from me?”Â
“Or rather… why are you putting on this pathetic,Â
victimized act?”Â
Barrett was entirely struck dumb.Â
It took him an eternity to find his voice, whispering coordinates of realization: “That day… the person outside the porch… it was you.”Â
“It was me. I heard every single word.”Â
“The night we broke up, you explicitly told me you wouldn’t wait for me at Arlington, and warned me not to regret it when you started dating Seraphina. I’ve held up my end of the bargain perfectly. Now, I expect you to do the same and stop disturbing myÂ
life.”Â
Barrett left, looking utterly hollowed out andÂ
defeated.Â
The moment I stepped through our front door, Zachary immediately pounced on me, snatching the heavy envelope from my hands. “Let me see!Â
I’ve never actually touched an ArlingtonÂ
acceptance packet before!”Â
However, the moment his eyes registered theÂ
massive, bold font printed across the cardboard,Â
he froze instantly.Â
“Northbrook University…? Valerie, you didn’tÂ
choose Arlington?!”Â
My parents came rushing out at the noise. TheÂ
moment the name of the distant northernÂ
university registered, their faces turned a livid, terrifying shade of purple.Â
A violent slap landed squarely across my cheek, delivered without a shred of hesitation.Â
“Are you insane?! Committing to a school that far away without even consulting us first! You think your wings are strong enough to fly away from us now, don’t you? You’ve been planning this betrayal for a long time, haven’t you?!”Â
Their words came in rapid, breathless screeches.Â
For eighteen years, this had been my reality–they would relentlessly tear down my self–esteem whileÂ
maintaining absolute, suffocating control over myÂ
existence, ensuring I would never escape the cageÂ
they had crafted.Â
I was utterly done with this life. I used to beÂ
terrified, timid, and enduring of their abuse, butÂ
this time, I finally possessed the strength to fire.Â
back.Â
I lifted my chin, a bright smile blooming across my face despite the sharp pain radiating from theÂ
corner of my mouth.Â
“Yes. I’ve been planning this for a very long time.Â
My wings are strong, and I am leaving you as farÂ
behind as humanly possible. Is that the answerÂ
you were looking for?”Â
That night, my parents went into an absolute frenzy, throwing me out of the house and ordering.Â
me to spend the entire night out in the cold toÂ
reflect on my massive disrespect.Â
The second the front door slammed shut with aÂ
resounding bang, I ignored the throbbing pain inÂ
my face, picked up my backpack, and walkedÂ
down the steps.Â
The phone in my pocket vibrated.Â
A notification popped up on the screen: My flight was boarding in exactly two hours.Â
Barrett fell into a deep, severe depression thatÂ
lasted for a solid half–month.Â
The floor of his bedroom was littered with over aÂ
dozen empty liquor bottles of every variety.Â
Unable to witness his self–destruction any longer,Â
Mrs. Sterling locked the remaining alcohol in theÂ
cabinet, shouting at him in pure frustration:Â
“Look at yourself! What happened to the boy whoÂ
arrogantly claimed that couples don’t need to go.Â
to the same college? You begged me not to tieÂ
your future to hers, and now that Valerie actually listened and skipped Arlington, you’re throwing a pathetic fit?!”Â
Barrett collapsed onto the sofa, burying his face in his hands as he began to sob uncontrollably.Â
“I was just taking my frustration out on you because you were nagging me! I had no idea Valerie was listening at the door!”Â
Mrs. Sterling’s anger flared even higher. “You have the fragile ego of a prince without any of the royalty to back it up! You are utterly impossible to please!”Â
“What good is drinking yourself to death going to do? If you’re genuinely remorseful, go find Valerie and beg for her forgiveness, and see if she’s willing to give you the time of day.”Â
The tears dried flat against his skin as he shookÂ
his head in absolute despair. “She refuses to seeÂ
me.”Â
Yet, a day later, Barrett still couldn’t control the desperate urge to find me.Â
Gathering every ounce of courage he possessed, he knocked heavily on my family’s front door, only for an entirely unfamiliar young girl to open it. “CanÂ
I help you?”Â
Zachary happened to be returning from the streetÂ
at that exact moment. Seeing him, he offered aÂ
cheerful wave. “Hey, Barrett.”Â
Barrett blinked in confusion. “Is Valerie not home?Â
Who is this?”Â
“Oh, she had a massive blowout with Mom andÂ
Dad two weeks ago and ran away. She’s definitelyÂ
never coming back, so we decided to rent it out toÂ
a tenant.”Â
Finishing his sentence, Zachary flashed a casual grin. “By the way, congrats on you and Seraphina. Hope you guys last forever.”Â
Barrett’s heart dropped straight into a cold abyss. Staring at Zachary’s cheerful, uncaring face, the hand hanging by his side coiled into a tight,Â
murderous fist.Â
He unleashed a brutal punch right into Zachary’s jaw, screaming in absolute fury: “Are you out of your mind?! That is your sister! How can you people treat her like she’s completelyÂ
disposable?!”

