The Day My Slow Brain Finally Felt Heartbreak Chapter 01
I had a processing disorder.
When people yelled at me, I said okay.
When they hit me, I said okay.
When my parents abandoned me, okay.
When classmates shoved my head into a toilet, okay too.
Pain meant nothing to me until I met Joy and Nathan.
One was my fiercely protective best friend, and the other was my boyfriend, who only ever looked at me like I
was his whole world.
Joy loved to poke my forehead, her voice thick with frustration,
“You little dummy. What if some girl takes Nathan away one day? Are you just gonna stand there and say
okay?”
I would only smile blankly. “No way. Nathan would never leave me.”
But when I returned to campus after winter break, I caught them clinging to each other outside the dorm.
Joy slapped him, tears streaming down her face. “Nathan, how could we do this to Valerie?”
“I’m getting an abortion. We have to pretend this never happened.”
Nathan’s eyes flared red as he pinned her against his chest.
“Don’t do it, Joy! I’ll tell Valerie everything. I’m going to take responsibility for our baby!”
I stood frozen in the freezing wind, watching the two most important people in my life.
For the first time, I realized that even with my condition, I could still feel pain.
I lowered my head and texted that number.
“I agree to go abroad with you for treatment.”
The reply came almost instantly. “Good. I’ll pick you up in three days.”
I tried to smile, but tears fell first.
They blurred my vision until I couldn’t even see the screen.
I wiped my eyes hard with the back of my hand.
I shoved the phone into my pocket.
Taking a deep breath, I forced myself to look normal and walked forward with slow, heavy steps.
“Nathan, Joy,” I called out, forcing a smile.
They gasped, snapping apart instantly.
Joy turned deathly pale, and panic flashed across Nathan’s face.
But the moment they looked at my perpetually blank, slow-reacting face, they both visibly relaxed.
I had a developmental delay.
They were absolutely certain I hadn’t noticed a thing.
They smoothed over their expressions in a heartbeat.
They pretended this was just a casual, accidental run-in.
But the suffocating guilt radiating off them was impossible to hide.
“Why are you guys back at school early?” I asked softly.
Nathan instinctively took a step toward me.
That was our routine. He always walked to me first and held my hand.
But after half a step, he caught the miserable, wounded look on Joy’s face.
He froze right in his tracks.
Then, he stepped back to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with Joy.
I looked at their sneakers lined up perfectly together, and a sharp, faint ache flared in my chest.
Silence stretched between us for a few agonizing seconds.
Desperate to break the tension, Joy suddenly lunged forward.
She grabbed the handle of my massive suitcase.
“That looks heavy. Let me get that for you, dummy!”
Her voice was too loud, too forced.
I blinked hard, fighting back the tears.
I was terrified that if I closed my eyes, the eighteen-year-old Joy would vanish forever.
That was the year I started college.
I didn’t know Nathan back then.
On move-in day, everyone else arrived in cars packed with their doting parents.
I was entirely on my own.
I had dragged that heavy suitcase up the stairs, one agonizing step at a time.
The students behind me snapped and swore at me to hurry up.
Sweat drenched my clothes, and panic consumed me.
That was when a bright, radiant girl ran down the stairs.
She grabbed my suitcase without hesitation.
“Are you alone? Let me help you!”
She carried my heavy luggage all the way to our dorm.
Later, I learned her name was Joy, and she was my roommate.
From that day on, she became my sister, my only best friend.
“Drop it!” a harsh voice barked.
Nathan strode over and shoved Joy’s hand away from the suitcase.
He pulled Joy tightly behind his back, shielding her.
He glared at me, his brow furrowed in deep disgust.
“Valerie, Joy… Joy hasn’t been feeling well lately! This suitcase is a rock. Why the hell are you forcing her to
carry it?”
I froze on the spot.
I had no idea how to respond.
J
I had always been slow-slow to react, slow to speak, and slow to process emotion.
Nathan knew that better than anyone.
Before today, he never blamed me for being slow.
He used to just smile, sigh with pure adoration, and take every heavy thing from my hands.
But now, his voice was ice.
“Joy is your best friend, not your maid!”
“Can you stop making her handle everything for you?”
“Valerie, having a condition doesn’t make you a princess!”
The blood drained from my face instantly.
My lips trembled, but no sound came out.
Joy’s expression shattered. Her eyes flushed red as she violently shoved Nathan away.
“Shut up, Nathan! What I do is none of your business!”
Ignoring Nathan’s worried gaze, she turned around and grabbed my hand.
“Ignore him, dummy. Let’s go back to the dorm.”
I let Joy pull me forward numbly.
Walking through the dark, frigid hallway, that agonizingly slow needle finally pierced my heart.
For the first time, I learned a brutal truth.
For the first time, I realized love could change hands.
