I Was Never the Girl in His Diary Chapter 03
I hadn’t even made it down the block before Barrett caught up, falling into step right beside me.
After offering a few empty words of comfort, he suddenly asked, “The college application portal opens in a few days. Where are you planning to commit?”
If this had been a week ago, the moment Barrett asked this, I would have shouted “Arlington University” without a shred of hesitation.
But the painful conversation he had shared with his mother remained lodged in my heart like a jagged shard of glass. Instead of answering, I threw the question right back at him.
“Where do you want to go?” I asked, even though I already knew the brutal answer.
He paused for a fraction of a second before replying, “…I think I’m sticking with Arlington.”
The moment his eyes met mine, he averted his gaze in panic, terrified I might read between the lines.
A dense, sharp ache bloomed across my chest, as if a hundred needles were piercing my heart simultaneously.
Two seconds later, I looked away, my voice sounding incredibly dry. “Same here.”
“That’s great. Looks like we’ll be going together then,” he said, his eyes scanning the road ahead.
I stared at his profile. The breakup speech I had spent hours agonizing over hovered on the tip of my tongue, but in the end, I couldn’t bring myself to say the words.
On the walk back, Barrett and I parted ways at the intersection.
I knew he was lying to me, and in exact equal measure, I had lied to him.
Barrett was desperate to avoid going to the same college as me. Fine, I would grant him his wish. I wouldn’t be filling out Crestview, and I certainly wouldn’t be committing to Arlington.
My inherent cowardice and lingering resentment kept me from uttering the word ‘breakup’ out loud, so I chose this silent exit as my final goodbye.
This relationship had been tainted from the very beginning, and frankly, I didn’t want it anymore.
We had to return to the high school campus to submit our final college commitments.
Terrified that someone might discover our relationship, Barrett had specifically pulled me aside before we arrived, instructing me to keep my distance and avoid going anywhere near him on campus.
I nodded in compliance.
His absence actually made my plan much easier to execute.
By the time the paperwork was finalized, it was already noon. Barrett was waiting for me at a designated spot far away from the school gates. The second he saw me, he demanded:
“Did you list Arlington University as your absolute first choice?”
I kept my face completely blank, lying smoothly through my teeth. “Yeah.”
“Perfect. I committed to Arlington too.”
My throat tightened. I stared at his bright smile, I froze in confusion.
Wasn’t Barrett doing everything in his power to dodge me? Wasn’t he desperate to avoid sharing a campus with me? What on earth was he playing at now?
The sickening realization didn’t hit me until later that evening, during the alumni banquet organized by our graduating class.
He hadn’t done it for me. He had done it for Seraphina.
Seraphina had committed to Arlington University as well. Naturally, Barrett wasn’t about to pass up a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to be near her.
Most of the catering on the long tables consisted of incredibly spicy dishes. Having an intolerance for heavy spice, I could barely find anything to touch, leaving my stomach completely empty by the midpoint of the dinner party.
There was only one last piece of sweet Pecan Pie left on the dessert platter. The exact second my fork reached for it, Seraphina’s fork descended upon it too.
Our gazes locked across the table.
I was starving, and the quiet resentment burning in my chest made me entirely unwilling to back down this time. Sensing my defiance, Seraphina held her ground, her chin tilted up with aristocratic pride.
During our silent standoff, a hand with sharp, elegant knuckles cut right across my line of vision.
He smoothly lifted the pie and deposited it right onto Seraphina’s plate.
Barrett set his own silverware down, turning his head to look at me with an incredibly gentle tone:
“Seraphina barely ate anything all night. Let her have this piece of pie. If you’re still hungry, I’ll stop by a bakery and buy you whatever you want on the drive home.”
Dozens of mocking stares shifted toward me from all corners of the room. I could easily read the contempt in their eyes—they were silently laughing at me for trying to compete with Seraphina, labeling me as pathetic and self-absorbed.
Overwhelmed by intense embarrassment, I immediately dropped my head, pretending to be deeply occupied as I forced down several large bites of the habanero-glazed shrimp on my plate.
The spice burned all the way down my throat.
For some bizarre reason, I wanted to laugh.
I wanted to scream at him that I hadn’t eaten a single thing all night either.
But the moment my eyes caught the intense, soft devotion in his gaze as he looked at Seraphina, the words died in my throat.
I could never win against her anyway.
Why bother making a fool of myself?
