He Forgot The Pad That Saved My Dignity And I Used It To End Us Chapter 02
The interstate coach rumbled through the darkness, swaying gently as it merged onto the highway. Outside the window, lonely streetlights flashed by in a blur, illuminating stretches of empty countryside before disappearing back into the night.
My phone lit up again.
Hazel had sent another message.
This time, it came with several professionally rendered wedding designs.
The images were breathtaking.
An award-winning wedding planner had clearly spared no effort. Elaborate white rose arches framed the ceremony space.
Crystal chandeliers cascaded from above like frozen waterfalls. Every corner of the estate wedding looked straight out of a fairytale, lavish, romantic, and impossibly beautiful.
[Selena, look at these! Aren’t they gorgeous? Killian said there’s no budget limit. Come back soon! I still need to pick your bridesmaid dress, and you have to help me choose my wedding gown too!]
I stared at the images for a long time.
No budget limit.
Once upon a time, I’d asked Killian for a wedding too.
Nothing extravagant.
I would’ve been happy with a small ceremony in a little church. Just a handful of close friends, a simple exchange of vows before a pastor, and a promise to spend our lives together.
That was all I’d wanted.
Back then, he’d merely ruffled my hair and brushed the idea aside.
“Why are you so hung up on meaningless formalities?” he’d said coolly. “As long as we sign the marriage license at City Hall, we’re legally married. Why waste time and energy on the rest?”
Even on the day we were supposed to register our marriage, I’d sat outside City Hall for three hours in the freezing March wind.
Three hours.
When he finally arrived after finishing a meeting, the County Clerk’s Office doors closed right in front of us.
“Sorry. A client added another meeting at the last minute.”
He glanced at the locked doors without the slightest hint of guilt. Then he took my hand, which had gone numb from the cold, and led me back to the car.
“Come on. I’ll make it up to you with dinner.”
We ended up at a Japanese restaurant beneath his office building.
Halfway through the meal, his phone rang.
“Hazel can’t find a place for her birthday dinner. Let me help her out. Go ahead and eat.”
Then he stepped outside.
For twenty minutes.
I waited twenty minutes.
By the time he came back, every dish on the table had gone cold.
“Got it booked for her.”
He sat down and took a sip of tea.
“Excuse me,” he called to the server. “Could I get a hot glass of milk?”
When he noticed I wasn’t speaking, he finally looked up.
“What’s wrong?”
“The wasabi got me.”
I grabbed a napkin and wiped at my eyes.
I couldn’t help it.
He leaned closer, gently checking my eyes before smiling.
“You really need to be more careful.” He chuckled. “You’ve still got wasabi on that napkin.”
He took the crumpled napkin from my hand and replaced it with a clean one.
Maybe it was the wasabi.
Maybe it wasn’t.
Either way, my eyes were already red enough to hide the truth.
So I finally said what I wanted to say.
“We were supposed to get our marriage license today.”
He paused for a second.
Then he casually picked up a piece of salmon, dipped it in wasabi, and placed it in my bowl.
“I know. Something came up, didn’t it? Consider dinner my apology.”
Still, I couldn’t let it go.
“Can we really not have a wedding?”
His hand froze.
Slowly, he set down his chopsticks.
“Selena, you know Hazel only has me.” His voice softened. “She’s dreamed of having a big wedding ever since she was little. Let her have this one. I promised her.”
He said it so naturally.
So confidently.
As if giving the wedding that should have been mine to another woman was the most reasonable thing in the world.
I hadn’t said anything.
And he took my silence as acceptance.
Later, I found out that he’d spent an entire week preparing for Hazel’s birthday.
He bought ninety-nine roses.
He ordered her favorite Black Forest cake days in advance.
He even handwrote invitations for every one of her friends.
There was a giant photo wall at the venue, covered with pictures of the two of them together.
Many of those photos had been taken in places I’d always wanted to visit.
I remembered my own birthday that year.
He’d told me he had a surprise for me.
Then he’d handed me a check and told me to buy myself whatever gift I wanted.
I never spent it.
I tore the check into pieces and threw it away.
He never noticed.
…
The bus rolled through a toll plaza and accelerated back onto the highway.
The vibration of my phone pulled me out of the memory.
This time, it was Killian calling.
After a brief hesitation, I answered.
“Selena, where are you?”
“Heading back home.”
“Back home?”
I could hear the irritation creeping into his voice.
“What are you going back there for? Are you really still upset about this? Hazel is always thinking about you. Can’t you be a little more understanding?”
Weariness settled into my chest.
“I’m not upset. I’m going to visit my grandfather.”
Several seconds passed.
Then he spoke again.
“If you wanted to visit your grandfather, you should’ve told me beforehand. Once things calm down, I’ll go with you…”
“Killian, I’ve told you countless times.”
I cut him off.
“Besides, we’re already broken up.”
Through the phone, I could practically hear his patience running out.
“Selena, we’re adults. Stop being childish. Once you’ve calmed down, come back.”
I said nothing.
Every argument.
Every disappointment.
Every heartbreak.
I’d always been the one to give in.
Because I had nowhere else to go.
I was alone in that city.
Other than Killian, I had nothing.
But things were different now.
“Tell you what,” he said at last. “A little time away might do you some good. Hazel’s wedding is in two days. I’ll have someone pick you up from the station.”
Then he hung up.
I slipped my phone back into my pocket.
Outside the window, the city lights gradually faded behind us.
He wouldn’t take a single day off to accompany me home.
Yet he’d generously given me three days to come back on my own.
I stared blankly at the dark screen.
Then a notification popped up.
Hazel had posted on Instagram.
Several photos from the wedding preparations accompanied the post.
[One person gets to be beautiful. The other gets to plan the wedding. Feeling grateful for my amazing big brother, @KillianThorne.]
In the comments, she’d tagged me.
[@SelenaMiller Selena, look! Isn’t the bridesmaid dress gorgeous? Killian and I picked it out especially for you!]
The first person to like the comment was Killian.
Big brother.
I silently repeated the ridiculous title.
My teeth sank into my lower lip until I tasted blood.
I laughed.
And then tears started falling.
Her “big brother” was giving her the wedding of her dreams.
Her “big brother” took her traveling all over the world.
Her “big brother” remembered every little thing she loved.
And me?
I didn’t even have a simple wedding.
All I’d ever asked was for him to take a single day off so we could go see the ocean together.
I asked three separate times.
I also asked him three times to come home with me and visit my grandfather.
Every time, his answer was the same.
“Once things settle down, I’ll go with you.”
There wouldn’t be another time.
Not anymore.
