The Red Light I Couldn’t See, The Love That Was Never There Chapter 08
When his phone rang, Ethan was standing beside the road, staring into space.
He pulled it out immediately.
The name on the screen made his brief hope vanish.
It wasn’t her. It was Lily.
He answered. Her voice held a playful, coaxing note.
“Ethan, where are you? I made homemade ravioli and brought it over. It’s the filling you said you liked last
time.”
“Open the door. I’ve been standing outside your place forever.”
Ethan closed his eyes, his voice turning hoarse.
“I’m not home.”
“Where are you?”
“I’m…”
He hesitated.
“I’m downstairs from Sophie’s office. She quit, and she blocked me.”
There was silence on the other end for several seconds.
Then Lily’s voice dropped noticeably.
“What did you say? She blocked you?”
“Yeah.”
“Was she serious?”
Ethan said nothing.
He stood on the steps, watching the traffic light across the street.
The light changed from red to green, then back again, while people streamed past him in every direction.
He suddenly remembered the day Sophie had been diagnosed with temporary color blindness.
He and Lily had each taken one of Sophie’s hands and promised to help her cross at every traffic light from
then on.
How long had it really been?
He’d already lost her.
“Where are you? I’ll come find you.”
Lily’s voice pulled him back to the present.
Half an hour later, they sat in a coffee shop beneath Ethan’s apartment.
Lily put the box of ravioli on the table and pushed it toward him.
“Eat something first. You look awful.”
Ethan didn’t touch it.
He unlocked his phone and held the screen out to her.
“She blocked me everywhere.”
Lily leaned closer, frowning at the screen.
Then she pulled out her own phone.
“I’ll try calling her. She couldn’t have blocked me, too. We grew up together.”
She pressed the call button and turned on speakerphone.
“The number you’re calling is busy.”
She hung up and tried again.
“The phone you’re calling is turned off.”
Lily stared at the screen for a long time, then slowly set the phone back on the table.
Ethan noticed her fingers gripping the edge of her phone, as if she didn’t know what to do.
“She blocked you, too?” he asked.
Lily didn’t answer.
She lowered her head and spun the straw around in her glass. After a long moment, she finally spoke.
“Ethan, have you ever thought maybe it’s for the best that she left?”
Ethan jerked his head up.
“Why are you trying to find her?”
“Isn’t she always like this? She throws a tantrum, threatens to break up, then comes crawling back on her
own.”
“This time she just made a bigger scene than usual. You really think she isn’t coming back?”
As she said those last few words, the corner of her mouth lifted slightly.
The smile was faint and gone in an instant.
But Ethan saw it.
He looked at Lily and suddenly felt that the face in front of him was unfamiliar.
She sat across from him, her eyes crinkling as she looked at him, just as she had countless times before.
And yet something had changed.
“What are you trying to say?”
Ethan frowned.
Lily’s smile faltered.
“You still don’t know what I’m trying to say?”
She leaned forward, pushed her coffee aside, and folded both hands on the table.
“Ethan, I can’t believe you haven’t noticed.”
“Noticed what?”
“That I like you.”
Ethan froze.
“I’ve liked you for a very, very long time.”
Lily’s voice was soft, but her eyes stayed fixed on his face.
“When I got sick, you were more worried than anyone. When I was hurting, you came running without a second thought.”
“Even when I casually mentioned some ridiculous idea, you went along with it and helped me make it
happen.”
The faster she spoke, the redder her eyes became.
“Ethan, after everything you’ve done for me, I don’t believe you felt nothing.”
She reached across the table and took his wrist.
“Isn’t it better now that Sophie is gone? You two were never right for each other.”
“She picked fights with you every day and threatened to break up over everything. How did you put up with it?
But I…”
“Lily.”
Ethan cut her off.
He slowly pulled his wrist from her palm.
“I was good to you because you were Sophie’s best friend.”
Lily’s expression went rigid.
“She asked me to look out for you.”
Ethan lowered his head and looked at the box of ravioli on the table, his voice soft.
“She said it wasn’t easy for a girl to be on her own, so I should keep an eye on you.”
“She said you were her best friend and that she was afraid you’d be treated unfairly.”
Lily slowly pulled her hand back and curled it into a fist.
“What did you say?”
She genuinely cared about you.
Ethan raised his head and looked at her.
“But did you ever feel the same about her?”
The coffee shop was quiet for a long time.
Lily’s lips trembled.
The disbelief in her eyes slowly turned into resentment.
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Then she shot to her feet, and the chair scraped harshly across the floor
“Ethan, you bastard!”
She grabbed her purse and turned to leave.
When she pushed through the door, the bells above it jingled wildly.
Ethan stayed in his seat.
He suddenly realized how many mistakes he’d made.
He suddenly realized that treating Lily as if she were special had only made everything worse.
