He’d Marry Me Only If His Friends Gave Me a Perfect Score, So I Quit the Game Chapter 09
During the final month before graduation, I ran into Ethan again near one of the academic
buildings.
This time, he was the one who stopped first.
We stood a few steps apart.
He didn’t follow me. He didn’t ask me to take him back.
He simply looked at the books in my arms and asked, “How are the grad school applications going?”
“Pretty well. I’ve got interviews with two programs.”
He nodded.
“I knew you could do it.”
In the past, a single word of approval from him probably would have made me happy for days.
Now, I only felt calm.
Ethan looked at me for a moment.
“Erin, they used to say all you had was your grades, and I just let them. Now I’ve walked away from that lot, and I don’t even know who I am.”
His voice dropped.
“Once I stopped spending time with them, I realised I didn’t even know what I actually liked. I thought being captain, always having people around me, having a crowd backing me at every event, that was the life I wanted. Truth is, I’d got far too used to having everyone’s approval.”
Hearing that, I couldn’t help finding it a little ironic.
It turned out we had both been doing the same thing all along.
He needed his friends to approve of every choice he made.
And I needed his friends to approve of me.
Neither of us had ever really stopped to ask what we wanted for ourselves.
He had simply realised it later than I had.
Ethan lowered his voice.
“I’m not here to ask you to come back. I just wanted to say I’m sorry. Properly.”
I looked at him..
“I know.”
His eyes were slightly red.
“Do you think you’ll ever forgive me?”
I thought about it for a few seconds.
“Maybe one day I’ll be able to think about all of this without it hurting. But that doesn’t mean we can go back to how things were. Forgiving you and starting again with you are two different things.
Ethan nodded.
“I understand.”
This time, he didn’t try to stop me.
I held my books against my chest and walked towards the academic building.
When I reached the entrance, I adjusted my glasses and saw that the lights were still on in the
classroom ahead.
Suddenly, I thought of the girl I’d been five years ago, taking part in that rating game for the first
time.
She had sat nervously at the very edge of the
group.
Every time someone gave her a low score, she quietly made a mental note of what she had done
wrong.
She believed that if she could change every part of herself that other people disliked, then one day
she would finally become the “perfect girlfriend.”
But now, I could finally tell her the truth.
There was no such thing as a perfect girlfriend.
And there didn’t need to be.
A relationship wasn’t a job interview.
Friends weren’t judges.
And love shouldn’t be decided by other people’s scores.
I had once been terrified of being disliked by them.
Now I understood that being disliked by people like that didn’t cost me anything.
Just as I reached the door, I heard someone call my name from behind.
It wasn’t Ethan.
It was someone from my lab.
She ran towards me with her laptop in her arms.
“Erin, the professor’s looking for you. Your research proposal’s been approved.”
I froze for a second.
Then I smiled and quickened my pace.
“On my way.”
This time, I didn’t look back at Ethan.
And I didn’t think about the ring he’d taken back from me time and again.
I had my own life to get on with.
As for their rating game?
I wasn’t playing anymore.
