I Refuse this Late Chapter 03
It felt as if a serpent coiled around me—a cold creepiness that swelled in my heart, leaving me so sick and nauseated I could throw up right then.
I knocked Stella’s hand away as hard as I could and arched my back, holding myself against the front seat with one hand while I clasped the other over my mouth and retched violently.
Although I hadn’t eaten for days and there was nothing I could vomit, the pungent acid scent sent Stella scrambling for a tissue to stuff her nostrils, while snapping at me in disgust, “What are you doing?!”
But I kept retching as I couldn’t hear a thing, and only stopped when I no longer felt sick.
Stella said nothing and kept glaring coolly at me, and I knew well enough to tell that she was on the verge of an outburst.
While I usually would play dumb and ignore that, I didn’t do so this time—just as I knew fully well I had no right to fight back, just as I was too enfeebled.
Keeping my head down as my fingers dug into the front seat, I said, “I’m sorry… I can walk on my own—I’m really sorry I got your car dirty. I’ll wash it when I get home.”
Stella paused and studied me suspiciously for a moment, and suddenly reached out toward my head.
I watched as her hand got closer, my whole body stiffening.
I knew I shouldn’t avoid her touch because I had always yearned for her to respond to my affection.
However, she was very assertive and thought little of me, and would verbally destroy me if I even upset her a little—so that I felt embarrassed and hurt.
I stiffened in my seat, telling myself repeatedly not to hide or upset her.
However, when her cool fingers reached me again, I felt the same creepy serpentine sensation once more, and couldn’t help turning my face away from her touch.
Stella’s hand was left frozen mid-air, and when she looked at me again, I felt her indignation and impatience.
However, that was when I felt nauseated once more, and I shook my head repeatedly.
Suddenly, Stella’s face was gone, and I was looking at my grandfather lying on his sick bed.
Because of these people, I had lost the only person who had been good to me.
As I blinked, tears gushed down my cheeks.
Seeing that, Stella—who clearly had some choice words for me—ultimately said nothing, and turned to tell the chauffeur to drive faster in it.
As I wiped my tears with my sleeves, I curled into a ball, staying silent and did my best to appear invisible.
My vision was a blur as I stared blankly outside, when it occurred to me.
If only Stella were willing to help, Grandpa would have been saved.
I wouldn’t have to borrow from loan sharks either, let alone end up in this sorry state.
But in the end, pondering about what ifs was pointless.
–
When the MPV stopped, I bumped my forehead on the front seat from inertia.
“Are you okay?” Stella asked.
Her asking me that was like seeing a blue moon.
Still, I shook my head in silence, clutching my forehead.
For her part, she didn’t press the issue and alighted right away, ignoring me and entered the Sullivan residence.
I went upstairs and quickly took a bath, changing out of my filthy trousers.
There were several gruesome holes on my left kneecap—the blood had dried and blackened.
It was a souvenir from the loan sharks, who had hammered several nails into my kneecap, and laughed out loud as I rolled around the ground, screaming and writhing in pain.
After that, they starved me and said I only got to eat if I pulled those nails out with my own bare hands.
