Hiding Me in the Name of Love Chapter 09
Amonth later, the finances tied up in my joint account with Jared were finally settled. He transferred my exact half back to me, along with a significant extra amount he labeled as compensation.
I didn’t want a single penny of it, so I wired the extra funds right back to his account.
Compensation meant that a debt could still be measured, calculated, and paid off. But the seven years that I had lost could never be bought back by any amount of money.
Zoe came to see me too.
She stood downstairs holding the cake I used to love. Her eyes were swollen from crying.
“Tasha, I know I messed up,” she choked out.
The wind was biting that day. Looking at her, my mind suddenly flashed back to a scorching summer afternoon during high school. We had squeezed together by the cramped little snack stand near the school gates, sharing a popsicle.
We had laughed as we promised that whoever got married first, the other would be her maid of honor.
Those feelings had been real, but so was the betrayal.
I didn’t take the cake from her.
“Zoe, I don’t hate you anymore,” I said.
A small spark of hope lit up in her eyes. But before she could speak, I continued, “But I won’t ever forgive you either.”
Her tears spilled over instantly. I turned around and walked back up the stairs, never looking back.
Later on, I heard through mutual acquaintances that Yvette had packed up and left the city entirely.
Jared ended up resigning from his company, and his social media profile remained frozen on that three-year anniversary post, with absolutely no new updates following the scandal.
Someone told me he deeply regretted everything and would often try to call my phone when he got drunk, but he could never reach me.
I had already changed my number, started a new job, and built an entirely fresh routine.
It wasn’t easy in the beginning. When I woke up in the mornings, my mind would still involuntarily wander to his old habits-how he always needed a small gap left in the curtains before bed.
When I passed a flower shop, I would remember how he had once bought me a bouquet of roses that ended up wilting in the pouring rain. I would even remember how he used to scramble to pour me a cup of warm water whenever my stomach hurt.
No one could simply erase someone one had loved deeply for seven years. After all, he had once been woven into the fabric of everything I did.
But time proved to be fair. It didn’t make the pain vanish overnight, but little by little, it taught me how to step over it and move forward.
I started going on shopping trips with Mom and playing chess with Dad. I even picked up the oil paints and hushes I had put away years ago.
I spent an afternoon thoroughly cleaning out the empty ceramic pot in my old room and planted a new succulent
inside it.
Mom laughed, warning me not to kill this one too.
I nodded seriously. “I won’t.”
I wasn’t just talking about the plant. I promised myself I would never let my own life wither away inside someone else’s lies again.
When winter finally arrived, an anonymous package was delivered to my door. Inside lay the gold ring Jared had given me, accompanied by a note.
I recognized the handwriting instantly.
Jared had written, “Babe, I regret everything. If I could do it all over again, I would introduce you to the whole world from the very first day.”
I stared at it for a long time. Then I tore the note into pieces and placed them, along with the ring, deep inside the very back of a drawer.
It wasn’t that I couldn’t bring myself to throw it away. I just wanted to remind myself that his acknowledgment, love, and regret had all come far too late. None of them was worth turning back for.
That evening, the sunset streamed through the window, casting a warm, golden glow over the vibrant new leaves sprouting on my windowsill.
From downstairs, Mom called up to tell me dinner was ready. Dad immediately began complaining that she had put too much salt in the food again, and the familiar, comforting sound of their playful bickering drifted up the stairwell.
I pushed the window open. The crisp, cool winter air rushed in, carrying the delicious aroma of a home-cooked
meal.
Suddenly, my phone screen lit up. A new friend had sent me an invite to a gallery exhibit opening this weekend.
I smiled, typing back a quick reply. “Sure.”
A long time ago, I genuinely believed Jared was my entire world. It was only after leaving him that I realized how massive the world actually was. Love was never meant to have only one restrictive form.
The day those seven years collapsed, I thought I had lost everything. But after truly moving on, I realized the only thing I had actually lost was someone who never deserved me in the first place.
And in losing him, I had finally found myself again.
