Born to Suffer So My Brother Learns Chapter 09
Mom opened her mouth, but not a single word came out. Her lips trembled violently, and tears smeared all over
her face.
“Helena, I was wrong. I know that now.”
I cut her off. “You say that every time. When I was alive, you said you were wrong. After I died, you still said the same thing. But then what? What did you do after that?
“You held my photo and cried. You wrote letters. You took pills. Did you do all that because you loved me or because you couldn’t live with yourself?”
Mom shuddered all over.
“You couldn’t bear the guilt, the loneliness, and the fact that Dad and Irwin both left you. So, you took your own life. You thought you were coming to keep me company, but really, you were running away.”
I looked straight into her eyes, speaking each word deliberately. “Mom, you have never truly faced me. Not when was alive, and not now that I’m dead.”
Mom’s lips parted. She wanted to argue, to say it wasn’t like that, and to tell me she truly loved me.
But the words wouldn’t come, because what I said was the truth.
In her entire life, she had never once really seen me.
What she saw was an obedient, compliant tool she could use as a teaching prop whenever she pleased-not a flesh -and-blood daughter who could feel pain, who could cry, and who longed to be loved.
Now, she and I were both dead. She was finally standing right in front of me, but I no longer wanted to see her
anymore.
The old crone at the foot of the bridge cleared her throat and said hoarsely, “Time’s up. You should move on to your next life now.”
Just then, light appeared at the other end of the bridge.
Within that light stood rows upon rows of souls, waiting for a new beginning.
Mom scrambled to her feet and grabbed my hand. But once again, it passed straight through.
“Helena, I’ll treat you right in the next life. I’ll only have you as my child, and I’ll love only you. I won’t play favorites, or scold you, or use you as a teaching prop again.”
Her voice grew louder and more frantic.
“Helena, please believe me. Be my daughter again in the next life! I’ve really changed. I really know I was wrong now!”
I simply smiled and asked, “Mom, don’t you remember? You said almost the exact same thing to me back when I was alive.”
Mom froze.
“You said, ‘Helena, be good. I won’t scold you anymore.’ You said, ‘Helena, just listen to me. I’ll definitely spend time with you next time.’ You said those things so many times, and I believed you every single time. But you never kept a single promise, so this time, I don’t believe you anymore.”
I turned around and didn’t look at her again.
“Helena!” Mom screamed and lunged forward, trying to grab hold of me.
But I was already gone.
At the other end of the light stood an unfamiliar woman.
Her smile was gentle, her gaze soft. She opened her arms wide toward me.
“Let’s go, sweetheart. Mommy is waiting for you.”
I ran toward that woman and threw myself into her arms.
Her embrace was so warm, just like the ones I had imagined countless times when I was little.
She patted my back softly and whispered, “There, there. Mommy’s here. Mommy has always been here.”/
Behind me, Mom’s wails tore through the entire underworld. She knelt on the ground, pounding it frantically.
“Helena, come back! I’m sorry! I’m really sorry! Just come back!”
But I could no longer hear any of it. That gentle woman had already gathered me in her arms and carried me into the light.
Holding the goblet, the old crone glanced at Mom-who was on her knees sobbing her heart out and sighed.
“You made your bed. Now lie in it.” She held out the goblet to Mom. “Drink this and forget about her. Be a better mother next time around.”
“I won’t drink it,” Mom said, her voice so hoarse that it was barely audible. “I want to remember her, how I killed her, and the way she looked at me in the end. I’ll carry this guilt with me for all eternity.”
She stood up and walked alone into the gray mist without looking back.
She gave up her chance to be reborn and became a spirit trapped forever in the underworld.
For all of eternity, she would have nothing but unending regret to keep her company.
