He Said He Only Pretended to Love Me, So I Left Him Chapter 08
His voice cracked slightly. “Then you grew up, and you turned into this amazing girl.”
“They’ve watched you your whole life-they couldn’t be happier with you. So they told me to go after you.”
His words got thick, and he sucked in a breath before going on. “Of course I like you. But the second they said it, it’s like my own choice didn’t matter anymore. Like everything I felt for you was just another box they wanted me to check.”
He paused. “I couldn’t stand that. I got so angry that day I spat out those words-that I hated you.”
“Lena…” This guy, who’d always acted like an older brother, was suddenly, openly, crying in front
of me.
“This past month and a half, I’ve been trying to find the guts to explain. I don’t even know why I
couldn’t take that step.”
“You have no idea how wrecked I was when you said you had a boyfriend at dinner.”
He wiped the corner of his eye. “In that moment, I just felt a deep, crushing regret. Why did I have to be so stubborn? Why did I have to prove that stupid point?”
While he steadied his breathing, I closed my phone and looked at him. “So you’re trying to say you
like me?”
His eyes rimmed red, he nodded.
I stood up and stretched. “Then why did you give away something I gave you to someone else?”
He looked completely blank. “What?”
I pulled
up the purchase record for that necklace I’d given him long ago and held it in front of his
eyes. “Don’t tell me you forgot you gave it away.”
He froze in place, his gaze flickering, suddenly unable to meet my eyes.
I pressed on. “And you already knew I had a crush on you, didn’t you? You knew exactly what my
username meant, right? And that night at the orientation meeting-you walked over in front of
everyone on purpose, didn’t you?”
His head hung low. He didn’t deny any of it.
“But I don’t get it, Jace. If you really like me, why did you delete every post I liked on the way to
school?”
“Why did you have time to banter back and forth in the comments with someone else but couldn’ reply to me? If you really like me, why do you keep blowing hot and cold?”
His hand tightened around his phone. “I’m sorry…”
More silence followed.
It was just like that day when he’d suddenly asked, [Why did you suddenly change your username?]
I’d only asked him the same question back, and he’d gone dead quiet just like now. Back then, he’d buried my question with, [Just woke up.]
This time, he was trying to bury it with, “I’m sorry.”
I couldn’t stop the silent, bitter laugh inside my chest. I’d actually still been holding onto a sliver of hope for him.
Looking at his silent, bowed figure, I shook my head and pointed at the door. “You’ve said your
piece. Now go.”
Break ended and it was time to head back to school. At noon on the day we were supposed to leave, Diane made a huge lunch and invited our family over.
I was already pulling my suitcase out the door when she arrived. “Thank you, Mrs. Hayes, but I already made plans to travel with a friend—I’m leaving now.”
She rushed over and grabbed my hand. “You… you didn’t book tickets together with Jace?”
I shook my head. She clapped a hand to her forehead. “Ugh, that Jace. Why didn’t he tell me you two were going separately? If I’d known you were leaving right now, I would’ve made you dinner last
night.”
I opened my arms and gave her a hug. “Thank you. There’ll be more chances. Next time I’m back, I’ll hit you up for that meal!”
She patted my back. “Deal. Reach out to me directly then. No more going through Jace-he’s always
too slow.”
That night back at school, my roommate came in from outside and said someone was looking for
me at the entrance.
I unlocked my phone and immediately saw Jace’s chat blowing up.
[I brought some stuff for you. Can you come out for a sec?]
[Lena, this is from my mom. She said I had to give it to you in person.]
I went outside. He handed me two bags of snacks. “My mom said… said to bring these to you.”
He couldn’t even look at me when he said it.
I shook my head, exhausted. “All these years and you still can’t lie.”
“I appreciate the thought, but take it back. I heard you’re applying to grad school. So focus on that. And… stop checking in on me, okay?”
I turned to walk away. He lunged forward, shoved the snacks into my arms, and took off running
A long while later, another message from him lit up my phone.
[I’m sorry. But take this as my apology. After this, I’ll buckle down and study.]
When winter break rolled around, he showed up outside my dorm with his luggage. “Lena, want to go home together?”
“I’m not heading home yet.” I pointed toward my friend waiting in the distance. “We planned a trip.”
He gave a slow nod, a hollow look settling on his face as he stepped aside. “Okay.”
After my friend and I landed up north, I posted on Instagram.
[Today, happy.]
Not for anyone else. Just to celebrate my first winter break after starting college.
