Dad, No One Will Laugh at You Anymore chapter 02
Author: Lynn Green
“Your parents did not even want you, but you had the nerve to call someone else dead weight?”
The color drained from Brady’s face.
His parents had divorced when he was little. Neither one had kept him, and both had started new families without him. He had been raised by his grandparents, and no one in the family ever dared bring it up around him.
He shoved me. “You really just said that to me? I am going straight to Uncle Phil. I will make sure you humiliate yourself in front of everyone. They will all laugh at you.”
“Go ahead.”
My voice came out flat, but my fingertips shook harder than ever. It felt like there was always going to be one last thing that broke me, and someone was always going to be the one to put it there.
The relatives finally left, and I followed Dad home.
The house felt too quiet. Dad spoke first.
“Does the back of your head still hurt?”
I lowered my eyes and shook my head. Every small movement sent pain shooting through the nerves at the base of my skull.
It hurt. A lot.
I had lied. I did not dare say it hurt, because that would give someone a reason to laugh.
Dad stared at me, then let out a sudden sigh. He set down his utensils and walked over.
My back went rigid. My fingers curled into my palms. The fear was physical, faster than thought. I was terrified he was about to say something, terrified those two words were about to come out of his mouth again.
He crouched beside me and gently touched the swelling on the back of my head.
“Kellen, your dad had a hard life.
“When I was growing up, there were too many kids, and your grandparents never cared much for me. Then I finally built something with your mom, and she passed before we had enough time together.”
His eyes reddened as he spoke.
“I raised you on my own all these years, and people talked behind my back the entire time. Everyone waited for something to laugh at.
“All I wanted was to hold my head up. I just did not want to be looked down on anymore.”
The word came without warning. My whole body flinched.
Dad did not notice. He kept going.
“You are my son. If you behave, if you mind your manners around other people, they will say I raised you right. Then nobody will have a reason to laugh at your dad.
“Everything I do is for the two of us.”
The word kept circling back, triggering the same response every time. My hand wanted to claw at my palm again, but I was afraid he would see, so I clenched my fist as hard as I could and tried to hold the shaking still.
The tears came anyway.
Dad blinked, caught off guard. He started to raise his hand to wipe them away, but I spoke first, my voice scraped raw.
“Brady said I am dead weight. That wherever you go, people laugh at you because of me.”
Dad’s hand froze in midair. The hand that had been reaching to dry my tears swung hard across my face.
“What are you talking about?
“Brady is well-behaved. He would never say something like that.
“You are the one who causes problems everywhere you go, making people laugh at me. You do not think about anyone but yourself.”
The slap was loud. My head snapped to the side, and my left cheek burned white-hot, the pain bleeding into the throbbing at the back of my skull until it was all one thing.
My ears rang. I could not make out anything he said anymore. The only thing still cutting through was that word, turning over and over inside the noise.
Laughed at. Laughed at. Laughed at.
I dug my nails into my palm as hard as I could. Pain was the only thing that made the sound stop, even for a second.
Dad kept talking, his voice shaking now.
“You remember this. I worked myself to the bone raising you, scrimping and saving to put you through school, all so nobody had a reason to laugh at us. Everything I did was for your own good.”
I could not hear him anymore.
The shaking would not stop. The panic response and the pain in my hands twisted together until I felt like I could crawl out of my own skin.
There had been a time when his suffering softened me, when I blamed myself for being ungrateful and told myself he had it hard enough already.
Now I finally saw it for what it was. None of this was right.
If it was for my own good, why did he hit me and kick me in front of everyone?
If it was for my own good, why did he use that word over and over until it pushed me to the edge?
